Wilfred Allen Graham II

No amount of words will do justice for such an incredible life, but we will try.

Wilfred Allen Graham II–affectionately known by his grandchildren as Papa–of Denver, North Carolina peacefully passed away surrounded by loved ones on November 23, 2025.

Allen’s wife Sandra Louise Graham, father Wilfred Graham, mother Katherine Graham, and sisters Judy and Winnie Graham preceded him in death.

Allen is survived by his oldest son Kevin Allen Graham and identical twin daughters Madeleine (Madie) Rose Graham and Josephine (Josie) Kate Graham; youngest son Jody Drake Graham, wife Miranda Graham, and two children, Amelie (Millie) Christine Graham and Remy Allen Graham (“His favorite grandson” and the only Graham boy to carry on the family name); his brothers Jerry, Jeff, and Mark Graham; and his sister Terry Kosanke; plus a trove of countless nieces, nephews, and cousins.

Papa embodied the role of a caregiver his whole life as a husband, father, grandfather, brother, friend, and manager. Nothing made him more happy than tending to those around him. He poured all of himself into every relationship–an embodiment of unconditional love and radical acceptance of others. He held a PhD in patience. “I don’t give up on myself so why would I give up on someone else?” he once told his granddaughter.

Born a fighter with a hole in his heart, he never let it stop him from getting all he could out of this life. In high school, he overheard his mother on the phone with a doctor as they discussed the possibility of him dying young due to his heart condition. He did not think he would make it past 18. Mother-like son, Katherine did not give up easily and searched far and wide for a miracle. He received an innovative, experimental surgery, the first of its kind, right as he graduated. It saved his life. That same surgery led to advancements in medicine and research for generations to come.

In Wheeling, West Virginia, Papa grew up in a noise-filled house on a hill where he experienced countless adventures with his six siblings. Due to his heart, he could not play sports, but Papa found a loop-hole: Boy Scouts. He worked tirelessly to become an Eagle Scout. Some of his favorite memories included road trips with his best friend, Bob Hayley, out to their favorite lake where they would fish for days. On top of camping trips and scout training, Papa begrudgingly served as an altar boy at his Catholic school.

In his 20s, Papa worked at the local convenience store. He never went to college. A representative of Philip Morris and Marlboro visited and became enamored by his spirit, charisma, and kindness. He offered Papa a job. Papa’s motto was one of hard-work. Papa worked his way up to Regional Sales Manager and spent his entire career there. He embodied integrity and change-making in his work. In the 1960s-70s, he was the first person at the company to hire women and people of color to the sales team. If something was not right, he would be brave enough to fix it. He invested in people and supported them in achieving their highest potential. He was an avid listener and always gave others the benefit of the doubt. He did everything with deep purpose.

His wife Sandy, who he affectionately called San, was his entire world. They met at the Yacht Club, a local dive bar, on a night out dancing. Papa only got Grahammy’s first name, but he knew she studied at the nursing school. For an entire week, he called the school every single day in search of her. On the second date, he knew he loved her. And from then on, he loved her wholly and deeply for 57 years.

They’d giggle in the kitchen. They’d read each other without a word said. They’d buy a house and have two boys they cherished and they’d spoil their dogs rotten and they’d survive loss and cancer and a move to Michigan then North Carolina. They’d travel across the country, sun tan on beaches, and ride their motorcycles up and down mountains and coastlines. They’d watch 20+ Neil Diamond concerts and see legends like Stevie Wonder, Johnny Cash, and Frank Sinatra and spin their love for music on vinyl. They’d go to every mall, and he’d buy Grahammy anything she wanted, and they’d give intentional gifts. They’d make countless meat loaves and Thanksgiving dinners and eat loads of popcorn because “to go to a movie without buying popcorn is a crime.” They’d play golf and attend meals with the Nomads (the community of over 50 retirees Papa built, who’d all gather for Mcdonald’s breakfasts and golf almost every week), and Papa would call Grahammy immediately from the green to tell her about his hole-in-one. They’d watch Sunday night football and attend their boys’ games. They’d raise those same boys to be talented, loving, and vulnerable men. And those same boys would have their four grandchildren who they loved before they even entered this world, who they helped raise, and who now cannot imagine a world without them.

To be loved by him felt miraculous. He was everything we wish to be and more. Saying goodbye is the hardest thing our family has ever done. He wanted more time, but always said he was lucky to get the time he got.

We love you forever Papa. Thank you for making our world.

“But now I look at the night
And it don't seem so lonely
We fill it up with only two
And when I hurt
Hurtin' runs off my shoulders
How can I hurt when holdin' you?”
Neil Diamond, “Sweet Caroline”

Raymer-Kepner Funeral Home & Cremation Services is caring for the Graham family. Condolences and memories may be shared at www.KepnerFH.com