Patsy Kilgo

Patsy Kilgo died on July 17 surrounded by her family who loved her beyond words. She was 89 by the calendar, but more like 29 in spirit. Family was her life – four children, 13 grandchildren, 24 great grandchildren.

Her mission was to serve others. Heading up Meals on Wheels, directing weddings at her church, keeping the church nursery, visiting the sick, making sure the poor that came into her life got help.

She was married to media personality John Kilgo. They fell in love early and eloped when John was a junior at the University of North Carolina. An apprehensive Patsy stood by John’s side when he told his mother the news. “That is the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. This marriage won’t last six months,” the mother said.

It lasted more than 69 years. Patsy and John’s mom quickly grew to love each other. There was no broken relationship that Patsy couldn’t heal. On a regular basis Patsy went by Mrs. Kilgo’s apartment to find an empty refrigerator and pantry. She made sure they were fully stocked before Mrs. Kilgo got home from work.

Patsy raised four beautiful children. John, Jr., Lawrence Michael, Robin Marie, and Kathy Anne. Her example taught them values that have lasted a lifetime. They were all in college at the same time. As Mrs. Kilgo warned years before -- not the best planning. A bewildered John had no idea how this would turn out. “I will bring the paycheck home, give it to you and let you figure it out,” John said.

Patsy had the knack of turning despair into joy. Four college graduates, no college debt. But there’s more to the story. Patsy wasn’t going to be the only one in her family without a college degree. She was in her forties when she took her diploma from UNCC.

John and Patsy lived in Davidson since 1997. There’s a bookcase in their den and a sign on the top shelf, created and put there by Karlee Moshier Bilbo, one of their lovely 13 grandchildren.

EVERY CHILD HAS A HERO. OURS IS NAMED PAT.

Yes, Pat. Not a pretentious bone in that lady’s body. When she was asked what she wanted her grandchildren to call her, to her it was simple: “By my name. Tell them to call me Pat.” They were friends more than grandmother-grandchild. When 37-year-old Hope Kilgo Brinkman called Pat on the phone (almost daily), two friends talked, relating, laughing and expressing love for one another. It was unique and beautiful.

Patsy had not felt well for weeks. Very few knew. She never complained. But it got bad. Her family took her to the hospital. Tests were run. News wasn’t good. She told John, “I will fight.”

She did. But there was a heart attack the morning of July 17. Family was called in. They surrounded her bed. Patsy knew she could see the end of this remarkable journey. She was alert and aware, demanding us to take care of each other. She was brave and she was ready.

Her last words to John, “Grieve for me but not for too long.”

She left us thinking not of herself but of others. She taught us not only how to live, but also how to die. Patsy wanted no funeral, no accolades, no memorial service. John, knowing how much good she had done for so many and for so long, overruled her.

A memorial service for this great lady will be Tuesday, July 22, at 11 a.m. at Davidson United Methodist Church. In lieu of flowers, memorial contributions may be made to Samaritan's Purse, link available below.